Thursday, May 13, 2010

It is what it is

I was trying to make a decision that I thought would have been easy. However, a wrinkle—a constraint—appeared, making me angry, disappointed, helpless and less confident. The new constraint also caused me to question the direction I wanted to go.

Two colleagues whom I depended on for consultation and advice said independently to me. “Well, it is what it is.” Both times when I heard this, I thought “Good grief! That statement is not very helpful!”

They were saying accept the situation as it is—it is not going to change. They were and are right.

After I accepted the constraint—the disappointing situation—as it was, I began to gain confidence in seeing new possibilities. I had to accept the disappointing news as it was. With the acceptance and gained confidence, I finally got to a point that I could aggressively think about the future opportunities.

It seems several friends and colleagues are going through their own life issues. Some of these situations are nuisances, others are health or economic changes that shock our daily living and makes us question our priorities.

Not until we accept these situations as what they are, can we free ourselves of frustrations, anger, and disappointment and positively solve problems and make a difference.

Without acceptance, we scream “Why can’t I do this?” or “Why can’t I have it my way?”. We feel anger, disappointment and blame toward the people we think caused the situation. Until we accept bad (or even good) news as what it is, we cannot shape our own future. The acceptance frees us from the exhausting emotional distress, and gives way to a path of proactive decisions and possibilities of growth.

Life’s bumps, nuisances, and heartbreaking news give us reasons to be disappointed, depressed, mad, grumpy, and mean. Acceptance of “it is what it is” gives us of the ability to tackle our negative emotions and turn them into positive actions that make a difference.

We all can identify someone in our lives who positively approaches bad news. Their behavior and actions inspire us, give us joy and shape us—causing us to think about our own priorities.

I am thankful for my two colleagues who had the courage and the honesty to tell me to accept the constraint as it is. It was their clarity that freed me of frustration and opened a new outlook to my future. 

PHOTO: Originally uploaded by BeInspiredDesigns   It Is What It Is on Red Scrabble Tile

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4 comments:

thesis writing said...
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mistyeyed said...

I know exactly what you are saying. Yes, we all need to accept bad situations and move on. But, there's just nothing so frustrating as this line: “Well, it is what it is.” My boyfriend says it all the time. He's right, of course. It's the last thing that I want to hear sometimes though!

Anne Adrian said...

Mistyeyed. Yes the statement "It is what it is" can be quite annoying, particulary when we are still changing "what it is". At the point that change is not possible is when acceptance of "it what it is" is important.

Try to change, then move on.

Thanks for you comment.

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